It Takes a Village to Raise a Child

Where is the family unit today? I remember the togetherness, happy family, and community spirit shared by my grandparents. And I experienced the beauty of a united Island when I travelled with my father to his motherland, Jamaica, a decade after its independence. But now we hear the expressions of families that are unattached, disappointed, frustrated, and destructive. 

So what went wrong? These feelings and conditions are experienced mostly within our socio-economic deprived communities. Where fear of the future and hopelessness are everyday frustrations that detach families and provoke community rivalry, the people who reside in these communities look outside the Island for a better life. They will attempt to get away at any opportunity.

The United States established diplomatic relations with Jamaica in 1962 following its independence from the United Kingdom. And since then, it advertises its employment opportunities for qualified professionals, its social care and welfare systems for children, the opportunity to study and gain a year's working contract and visits. Opportunities to gain residency with the privileged Green Card and later Citizenship are possibilities but not available to everyone.

The U.S. Embassy creates its application for entry in layman terms. They show no discrimination to Jamaican Nationals who dream of the opportunity to live and work abroad to make a better life for themselves and support their families at home. 

 Howard W French writes –‘before dawn on many days, in a ritual repeated across the Caribbean, long lines of people anxious to build new lives in the United States begin forming outside the high white walls of the American Consulate. Inevitably, many fail to clear the barrier before the building's sprawling courtyard is overcrowded and new applicants arrive. It's never an easy decision to make, as applications are frequently refused’.  

For those who are successful, it all seems surreal. The hope is that as one leaves for the United States, planning begins for the others to join and gain the same opportunities to keep families together. But in reality, migration is one of the primary vehicles that has fragmented and broken family life and communities on the Island. Children are left behind with no security, love, or parental guidance. These valuable physical needs are replaced with monetary funds, but it's not enough. However, children remain resilient as they continue to dream for that day when they will join their parents. However, in most cases, that day never comes. Hope begins to diminish as the years roll by, with no return visit to seal their expectations.

 So what happens when Jamaica Nationals get to the other side? Where does the dream disappear? Well, the reality is the grass is not greener on the other side. And the struggle to find honest work and obtain the privileged green card is no easy feat. The pressure and desperation set in after the period of their stay end, and they are expected to return home. But, returning home with nothing, to nothing is not a choice to make. Many prefer to stay and struggle alone while funds dwindle. 

They attempt to find a way forward to give up the struggle and attach them-self to whoever will show them a possible way out. Most times, the help offered comes with expected commitments that kill the hope to return to the family life they left behind.

 Children, mothers, fathers, and partners left behind become bitter! And this bitterness cradles the community, and children feel abandoned and become rebellious. Mothers are frustrated and take out their anger on their children. And fathers hold up their hands in despair, clueless in knowing a way out. Without a positive mind-set and parental support, some find them-self turning to the worse solution by bowing down to criminal acts, as they feel it's the only way to put a meal on the table. 

Without the village care and support, children become disillusioned and argumentative and struggle with fits of anger. They begin to view a life of poverty as their standard. The survival choices are slim as school fees are no longer available for the opportunity to gain an education for the possibility of a better future. A cycle of vicious and destructive behaviour begins. They trust no one and everyone becomes a public enemy, as they displace their anger on others in the community.

 Partners left behind find other people to love while broken and confused, not thinking positively, so imagine finding another love with the wrong motive and in a scarred frame of mind. 

The village becomes an environment where everyone is in chaos, looking out for themselves rather than for each other. The Grandparents of these children try to pick up the broken pieces of their grandchildren's distress, attempting to parent the only way they know, not recognizing that their form of parenting is no longer working in this 21st Century.

Children, having children, think they will do a better job as parents. Resources and benefits available are unknown, so children with broken families and broken lives become the talk of the tabloids. Confused young female adults choose men who are unaware of parenthood, as they too have never experienced a father or a stable family life. 

The Family Courts are more sensitive and sympathetic to the needs of these children and young people and no longer make harmful legal decisions by putting these children behind bars because of their uncontrollable and vicious behaviour. Instead, the Court finds family counsellors to help and implement suitable interventions to create and provide better family and community relationships. 

What Can We Do?

We need to look at possibilities and provide more options to support families and communities to unite. Recognise the trauma and emotional instability children face when they are coming from a broken home.  

We must bring the village community experience back so that our children can grow and develop with confidence and feel togetherness, regardless of family disruptions. And we can. Children's essential requirement for emotional stability and happiness is love, and we are built with this quality even if we have never experienced it. We are made in God's mental and spiritual image (Gen. 1v27), and God is Love (1John 4v16).

References:

Prison Time for No Crime - the Sunday Gleaner December 8, 2019, ~ Karyl Walker Caribbean Exodus: U.S. Is Constant Magnet 1992 ~ Howard W French U.S. Relations with Jamaica ~ Bureau of Western Hemisphere Affairs and The Bible: various scriptures

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